1 00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:06,600 MARCUS: Roses are red, violets are blue. 2 00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:08,800 Hitch up your tunic, I'm going to bone you. 3 00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:11,080 [laughs] Funny, right? 4 00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:12,320 Yeah, that is excellent. 5 00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:14,000 I mean, it's clever funny, isn't it? 6 00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:15,400 I'm going to give it to my date tonight. 7 00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:17,320 A guy in the forum sells 'em for five denari. 8 00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:19,880 Five denari for a rapey poem? 9 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,720 It's not rapey, it's cheeky. 10 00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:23,400 This is what Lupercalia is all about. 11 00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:26,360 Well, no, Lupercalia is aboutcynical shysters flogging tat 12 00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:28,960 to idiots or restaurants hiking up their prices 13 00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:30,760 with hateful love-themed menus. 14 00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:31,680 Like what you're doing? 15 00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:33,040 Correct. 16 00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:35,000 And anyone stupid enough to go out on Lupercalia 17 00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:36,400 deserves everything they get. 18 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:39,320 Hmm, methinks the real reason that you 19 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:41,320 hate Lupercalia is that you're a sad wanker who 20 00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:42,760 can't get a date. 21 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:45,120 I can get a date, mate,I just didn't on purpose. 22 00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:46,160 Who's the lucky lady, then? 23 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:47,560 Her name is Tabitha. 24 00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:49,280 And according to herprofile, she likes music, 25 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:50,280 travel, and men with beards. 26 00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:51,400 Profile? 27 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:52,400 Did you meet her through an agency? 28 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:53,320 Big time. 29 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:54,560 And she is gorge. 30 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:56,160 Check out the picture. 31 00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:59,320 OK, well, yeah, the picture'shot, but she might be not. 32 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:00,320 Well, what? 33 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:01,880 How would that work, you moron? 34 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:04,000 No one actually looks liketheir profile pics, mate. 35 00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:05,960 She's probably some dog-faced swamp monster. 36 00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:07,480 No, she's hot. She'll be hot. 37 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:08,560 She has to be. 38 00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:11,000 Please be hot. 39 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:12,360 Do us that poem again. 40 00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:13,840 Yeah, sure. 41 00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:14,840 Roses are red-- 42 00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:16,240 Ha ha, I'm laughing already. 43 00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:17,680 [MUSIC - OLI JULIANFEATURING MICHAEL PROPHET, 44 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:19,000 "WHEN IN ROME"] 45 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:22,200 [SINGING] When in Rome, do as the Romans do. 46 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:28,120 Far from my home. 47 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:31,400 All I got is you. 48 00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:35,240 Lupercalia, set menu,two-course, saucy supper, 49 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:37,000 60 denari per couple. 50 00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:38,480 Passionate pudding, 8 denari. 51 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:39,560 Whoa, that sounds good. 52 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:40,960 What's that? 53 00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:42,040 Just the normal pudding,but twice the price. 54 00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:43,320 I bloody love this festival. 55 00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:45,280 We are going to be heaving with hotties. 56 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:47,120 Yeah, and their boyfriends. 57 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:48,440 This thing is for couples. 58 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:49,600 Yeah, sure, like, at first. 59 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:50,480 What? 60 00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:52,080 What does that mean? 61 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,920 Mate, Lupercalia is like agraveyard for relationships. 62 00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:57,280 The pressure for romance is way too intense. 63 00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:58,480 Especially at these prices. 64 00:01:58,600 --> 00:01:59,840 So by the end of the night, there's 65 00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:02,000 all these like teary, newly single women 66 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:03,560 looking to do something stupid. 67 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:04,920 Or someone stupid. 68 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:06,120 Exactly. 69 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:08,000 But it's literally never not worked. 70 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:09,560 Trust me, you should try it. 71 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:11,600 Yeah, I think that mightbe too cynical, even for me. 72 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:15,520 Oh, what are you doing back there? 73 00:02:15,640 --> 00:02:16,880 Ah, nothing. 74 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,080 Just Gloria has been on my case about dealing 75 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:20,400 with the damp patch in our party walls. 76 00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:21,280 So-- 77 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:22,720 You're hiding from her. 78 00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:24,680 This is how I deal withmost of my problems, yeah. 79 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:26,800 Marcus. 80 00:02:26,920 --> 00:02:27,720 Gloria. 81 00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:29,440 Hey, didn't see you there. 82 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:30,440 Pleased I caught you. 83 00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:32,080 What are you up to you later on? 84 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:33,680 I, uh, don't know. 85 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:35,080 Why do you ask? 86 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:37,080 I wondered if youfancied meeting for dinner. 87 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:38,480 Oh, sure. 88 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:40,080 Yeah, sounds great. 89 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:46,280 Of course, it's not a date. 90 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:49,040 She asked you to dinner on Lupercalia. 91 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:50,560 She said meeting you for dinner. 92 00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:52,480 It's probably just ameeting because she wants 93 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:54,160 me to sort out her damp patch. 94 00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:55,760 Yeah, damn right she does. 95 00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:59,040 No, obviously not that one,the boring one in the wall. 96 00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:00,640 But she'll try and make me pay for it. 97 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:03,080 No, there's always been this sexy, tense vibe 98 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:04,240 between you and Gloria. 99 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:05,600 Grumio, isn't that right? 100 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:07,400 It gets tense around all women, to be honest. 101 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,800 He is right, that hardly singles her out. 102 00:03:09,920 --> 00:03:11,160 Ask her if it's a date then. 103 00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:12,160 What? 104 00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:13,360 I'm not just going to ask her. 105 00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:15,680 I'll look like a clueless twat and damage 106 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:18,320 my negotiating position ifthe answer turns out to be no. 107 00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:19,640 You'd have to look for clues then. 108 00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:21,680 Like, how much flesh is on show? 109 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:22,960 Is she getting lashed? 110 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:24,680 Did she invite you back to hers? 111 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:27,080 You just need to, like,vibe it out, man, all right? 112 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:28,800 Mm, OK. 113 00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:30,080 You'll have to cover for me here then. 114 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:31,360 Fine by me. 115 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:32,680 More sad stunners for the rebound king. 116 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:33,560 Hang on. 117 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:34,560 Not fine by me. 118 00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:35,800 Why should he get the night off? 119 00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:36,920 He's got a hot date. 120 00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:38,760 It might just be a hot meeting. 121 00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:41,840 Grumio, get asked out by anyone or anything 122 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:42,920 and you can have the night off. 123 00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:44,480 Sweet, I'll ask myself out, then. 124 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:46,080 No, that obviously doesn't count. 125 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:48,000 Grumio, would you like tocome for dinner with me tonight? 126 00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:51,000 Why, yes, Grumio, I'd loveto, I thought you'd never ask. 127 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:52,400 Great idea, Grumio. 128 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:54,520 Maybe you'll inviteyourself back for a nightcap 129 00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:55,400 and try and get lucky. 130 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:56,520 I will, actually. 131 00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:58,080 And I know for a fact I'll succeed. 132 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:02,760 Roses. 133 00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:04,840 Lupercalia roses. 134 00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:06,160 Rose for the lady, sir? 135 00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:07,680 Oh, it's you. 136 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:09,960 Happy Lupercalia, beaky. 137 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:11,400 Yes, hello Landlady. 138 00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:12,840 Cashing in on the festivities, I see. 139 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:13,800 Always. 140 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,200 You're out tonight, are you? 141 00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:18,320 I figured you would spend Lupercalia 142 00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:20,960 at home wanking and crying. 143 00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:22,800 Well, the night is young. 144 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:24,400 I'm actually meeting someone first. 145 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:26,440 Oh, well, then you've got to take her a rose. 146 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:27,400 It's a done thing. 147 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:28,840 No, I know. 148 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:30,800 But I'm not actually sureif it's a date or not. 149 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:32,360 She owns the laundry next door and we've 150 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:34,000 got some damp to sort out. 151 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:35,760 And then she invited me fordinner and didn't mention it, 152 00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:39,200 so I don't really knowwhere I stand, rose wise. 153 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,960 What do you reckon as a sort of woman? 154 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:46,480 I say, I think it is a dateand you should take her a rose. 155 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:47,880 Yeah, but actually, you would say that, 156 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,280 wouldn't you, because you're selling roses. 157 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:50,800 So I'll tell you what, I'll pay for it 158 00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:52,680 anyway so you can be honest. 159 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:55,640 Right, now I'm thinking that it isn't a date 160 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:58,000 and you shouldn't take her a rose. 161 00:04:58,120 --> 00:04:59,640 You see, again, I think you would 162 00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:01,520 say that because now you getto keep the rose and the money. 163 00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:04,680 So tell you what, I'll takeit anyway, just to be safe. 164 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:08,040 Well, whatever it is,you're sure to fuck it up. 165 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:10,280 Mind those thorns now. 166 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:11,840 Roses! 167 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:15,720 [music playing] 168 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:24,440 Hello? 169 00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:26,040 Good evening. 170 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:27,400 Table for one, please. 171 00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:29,440 Uh-huh, you're having your date here, then? 172 00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:31,040 Well, I have to look at the menu. 173 00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:32,600 And I can stick it on my tab. 174 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:34,160 But you know it's a couples menu. 175 00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:35,200 You get two of everything. 176 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:36,200 Perfect. 177 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:37,680 I'll be eating for two, then. 178 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:39,640 Give me two starters andtwo of your sharing plates. 179 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:40,640 Two sharing plates? 180 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:41,680 Then you'll be eating for four. 181 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,120 Well, it's date night, innit? 182 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:45,760 I'm gonna spoil myself rotten. 183 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:47,440 Hello? 184 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:48,880 Yes, hi. 185 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:49,800 Do come in. 186 00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:51,280 Oh, hi, sorry, yes. 187 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:52,920 Table for two, please. 188 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:54,280 No, Theo, this won't do. 189 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:55,720 It's a bit dead, isn't it? 190 00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:57,360 Sorry, yes, of course. 191 00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:58,680 Shall we toddle on? 192 00:05:58,800 --> 00:05:59,560 What? 193 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:00,880 Oh, not dead. 194 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:02,040 We're just getting going. 195 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:03,680 No, don't toddle on. Toddle in. 196 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:05,600 You can have any table youlike, even the one he's sat on. 197 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:07,280 Oh? Piss off. 198 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:09,000 I'll look after you, I promise. 199 00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:11,360 Any twists or turns this evening may take, 200 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:15,560 I'll be right here for you,waiting as your waiter. 201 00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:17,560 Oh, go on then. 202 00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:19,680 Thank you. 203 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:21,200 And I'm in. 204 00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:22,480 I mean, I was hoping for more options. 205 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:23,800 But I can work with this. 206 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:25,560 Keep up my Lupercalis strike rate. 207 00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:28,840 Yeah, I'm not interested inmy waiter's personal life, OK? 208 00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:31,240 I came here for somequality time with myself. 209 00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:32,800 Now fetch me my starters please, lad. 210 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:33,720 Quick smart. 211 00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:37,840 Evening. 212 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:39,440 Happy Lupercalia. 213 00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:41,600 Yes, you too. 214 00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:47,040 [music playing] 215 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:03,400 Gloria, hi. 216 00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:05,080 Oh, we're doing that, are we? 217 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:06,240 I was going to go for a kiss. 218 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:07,320 Were you? 219 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:08,360 Oh, fine. Let's do that, too. 220 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:09,240 OK. 221 00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:10,520 Ooh. 222 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:11,800 Sorry, I'm late. 223 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:13,520 It took me ages to find something to wear. 224 00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:15,440 Well, you made the right choice. 225 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:16,600 You look lovely. 226 00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:18,120 Oh, thank you. 227 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:19,840 I didn't really choose it. 228 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:21,240 Most of my clothes have gone moldy because 229 00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:22,480 of that effing damp. 230 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:24,280 This is the only thing that survived. 231 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:26,800 Right, yes, of course, the damp. 232 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:28,560 Which we really do need to talk about. 233 00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:29,440 Absolutely. 234 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:30,720 It's my top priority. 235 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:32,000 Yeah, well, let's get a drink first. 236 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:33,200 That's my priority. 237 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:35,640 I'm absolutely gagging for some wine. 238 00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:36,840 You're drinking, right? 239 00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:38,480 Uh, I am if you are. 240 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:39,600 Good man. 241 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:40,720 Might as well get a bottle, then. 242 00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:42,320 Ooh, and maybe some oysters. 243 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,480 Come on, you fuckers, argue. 244 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:49,360 Waiter? 245 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:54,720 All right, Grumio, date going well? 246 00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:57,080 Well, the company'stop draw, but the service 247 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:58,440 is a bit of a letdown. 248 00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:01,680 I'm still waiting on my second sharing plate. 249 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:02,560 Excuse me. 250 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:03,880 Oh, hello. 251 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:04,760 How can I help? 252 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:05,680 Which way is the toilet? 253 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:07,080 There's no signs in here. 254 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:08,200 Yet, there's no need. 255 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:09,880 You just follow the yellowy stain. 256 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,000 Look. 257 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:13,120 Waiter, I am waiting. 258 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:15,640 Just a sec. 259 00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:17,640 So you two been together long? 260 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:19,520 Oh, yes, 12 years. 261 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:21,760 12 years, whoa. 262 00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:23,200 That is long. 263 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:24,280 Too long, in a way. 264 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:25,520 Sorry, how do you mean? 265 00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:27,080 Well, the sparks probably gone, innit? 266 00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:28,520 Ah, I wouldn't say that. 267 00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:30,840 Yeah, I know, you'restuck in a rut, crap sex, 268 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:33,760 arguing about money, wondering where it's all going. 269 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:36,600 Hey, cloth ears, fetch me my grub now. 270 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:38,080 Get it yourself, you lazy prick. 271 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:42,840 It's fine. 272 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:43,920 He's not a proper customer. 273 00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:45,400 Sorry, yes, of course. 274 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:47,080 So you were saying your relationship 275 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:48,680 is dead in the water? 276 00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:50,320 Actually I was thinking ofdoing something quite bold. 277 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:52,280 Exactly, get out whilst you can. 278 00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:54,440 And asking her to marry me. 279 00:08:54,560 --> 00:08:55,680 Are you sure you want to do that? 280 00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:56,960 100%. 281 00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:58,960 In fact, sorry, can do me a favor, chum, 282 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,720 and conceal this in the desert. 283 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:03,760 I'd really love it to be a surprise, you see. 284 00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:05,360 Yeah, no, I'd be happy to. 285 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:07,120 Aw, what a lovely gesture. 286 00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:09,520 And you can forget abouta tip, you lazy dickhead. 287 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:14,920 Now, blood is a fucker. 288 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:16,040 If you don't get it early enough, 289 00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:17,480 that ain't never coming out. 290 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:19,480 If someone comes in with a bloody tunic, 291 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:21,920 I usually suggest they tryand bleed over the whole thing 292 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:23,880 just to even it out. 293 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:26,760 Now semen stains, much easier, of course. 294 00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:29,440 Yeah, you can just sort ofscrape it off once it's dry, 295 00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:31,000 I imagine. 296 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:32,760 Is that your adolescence,just staining and scraping? 297 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:35,320 Interspersed with the odd Greek lesson, yeah. 298 00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:37,320 I bet the girls were beating your door down. 299 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:40,000 No, my mum was beating my door down. 300 00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:41,920 The girls were elsewhere. 301 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:45,280 Well, more for them. 302 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:46,320 A menu for you, madam. 303 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:47,200 Thank you. 304 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:48,560 For you, sir. 305 00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:49,600 Thanks. 306 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:50,480 I'll leave that with you. 307 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:51,800 Cheers. 308 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:53,160 A Lupercalia menu? 309 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:55,480 Ah, shit, I completely forgot that was today. 310 00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:56,800 No wonder this place is full of couples. 311 00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:00,640 You all right? 312 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:01,720 Uh, yeah. 313 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:04,320 What are you doing down there? 314 00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:05,400 Oh, fuck! 315 00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:06,320 Oh! 316 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:07,880 What's happening? 317 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:11,280 Oh, um, I think somethingjust stabbed me in my organ. 318 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:12,200 Stabbed? 319 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:13,560 What stabbed you? 320 00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:15,560 I think it must be a splinter from the chair. 321 00:10:15,680 --> 00:10:16,960 Ah, God, it really stings. 322 00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:20,920 Ah, shit, I hope it's still functional. 323 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:22,680 Look, these shit bags have hiked up the prices 324 00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:24,080 for Lupercalia anyway. 325 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:26,200 Why don't we just go back to my place, 326 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:27,480 I'll rustle us something up. 327 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:29,960 You can sort out your organ. 328 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:30,840 Back to your place? 329 00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:32,280 Mm, yeah. 330 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:33,200 OK, great. 331 00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:39,120 One passionate pudding, two spoons. 332 00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:40,000 Thank you. 333 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:40,920 Thanks so much. 334 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:47,040 Mm, no, I don't like it. 335 00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:49,800 Oh, sorry, well, I-- 336 00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:51,040 do push on if you can, babe, because-- 337 00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:51,960 I don't like it, Theo. 338 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:53,440 I just said, it's rank. 339 00:10:53,560 --> 00:10:54,840 Sure, no, absolutely. 340 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:57,400 Sorry, I-- Tell youwhat, why don't I dig in, 341 00:10:57,520 --> 00:10:58,280 see what's in there. 342 00:11:06,560 --> 00:11:08,040 Sorry, sorry. 343 00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:10,080 Is this definitely the rightpassionate pudding, waiter? 344 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:11,040 Yeah, should be. 345 00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:12,920 Try and swap it for cheese. 346 00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:13,800 Theo. 347 00:11:13,920 --> 00:11:15,360 Sorry, one sec, babe. 348 00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:19,000 I just-- I thought it hada special ingredient in it, 349 00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:21,400 a very expensive ingredient. 350 00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:22,320 Yeah, I know. 351 00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:23,680 I put it in myself. 352 00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:24,800 And then I-- 353 00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:26,960 Oh, I love you too, Grumio. 354 00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:27,920 Ah, oh. 355 00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:29,080 Oh, don't tease me now. 356 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:30,000 Oh. 357 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:37,720 You greedy bastard, Grumio. 358 00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:39,760 You were the one whotold me to get me own food. 359 00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:41,720 And to be fair, that musthave been some budget bling 360 00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:43,080 because it slid straight down. 361 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:44,400 Didn't even touch the sides. 362 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:46,640 That ring belonged to my late grandmother. 363 00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:48,680 Theo, what are you doing? 364 00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:50,320 I'm sitting here like a lemon. 365 00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:51,480 Uh, one sec, babe. 366 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:54,400 Just talking through cheese options. 367 00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:56,520 Oh shitters, right. 368 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:58,360 I need to get that ring back, buster. 369 00:11:58,480 --> 00:11:59,960 All right, chill. 370 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:02,200 Lucky for you, your ring'sinside one of the fastest 371 00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:03,240 digestive systems in Rome. 372 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:04,400 It's true. 373 00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:06,080 His gut is an absolute shit storm. 374 00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:08,240 OK, so what's the plan? 375 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:12,680 Grab them prunes and thatcolander, meet me in the bogs. 376 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:14,440 Hey, I'll keep her occupied. 377 00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:15,880 Don't you worry. 378 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:19,160 This can still be a greatLupercalia for everyone. 379 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:20,320 Thank you. 380 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,040 Sorry, that's jolly decent of you. 381 00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:31,240 Toilet's down the hall. 382 00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:33,360 Do you want me to give you a hand? 383 00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:38,080 Uh, I can handle it. 384 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:39,960 Ah. 385 00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:41,880 You little prick. 386 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,200 What? 387 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:45,440 Oh, hello. 388 00:12:45,560 --> 00:12:46,320 Who are you? 389 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:48,200 I'm Barney, Gloria's son. 390 00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:49,400 Who are you? 391 00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:50,440 Son? 392 00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:52,080 OK. 393 00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:55,920 Well, I'm Marcus, Gloria's-- 394 00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:57,240 Actually, I'm not entirely sure who 395 00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:58,880 I am in relation to your mum. 396 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,440 She hasn't said anything, has she, 397 00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:01,800 about what she's doing tonight? 398 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:03,160 She said she was out for dinner. 399 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:05,360 Uh-huh, OK, I knew that. 400 00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:09,040 And does she do that alot, have dinners with men? 401 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:10,560 Are you calling my mum a slag? 402 00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:12,440 No, I'm not calling her anything. 403 00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:15,000 I'm just asking if she's, uh-- 404 00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:16,520 What? 405 00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:18,200 She's giving off a lot ofmixed signals, that's all. 406 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:20,320 And I thought if you knewwhether it was a date or not. 407 00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:21,680 It isn't. 408 00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:23,280 Mm-hmm, OK. 409 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:24,680 Why do you say that? 410 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:26,000 You're not her type. 411 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:28,760 She likes big tough guys, not weedy pussies. 412 00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:30,400 I am not a weedy pussy, thank you very much. 413 00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:32,360 I'm going to tell her thatyou don't know if it's a date 414 00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:33,800 or not. - Please don't do that. 415 00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:35,160 And that you're playingwith your dick in the loo. 416 00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:36,480 I wasn't. 417 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,280 I was extricating my dick from a rose thorn. 418 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:39,560 Ha, that's even better. 419 00:13:39,680 --> 00:13:41,720 Well, no, you will not tell your mum. 420 00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:42,600 Oh, yeah? 421 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:43,720 Or what? 422 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:44,640 What are you going to do about it? 423 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:45,720 Wine at me? - No. 424 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:47,360 With your weedy, whiny voice. 425 00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:50,200 I'll rip your tongue outand shove it up your arse. 426 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:51,560 What? 427 00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:53,480 That's right, I'll make you lick your own bum, 428 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:56,200 you dirty little boy. 429 00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:57,240 Not so tough now, are you? 430 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:03,880 It just won't do. 431 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:05,200 I mean, what is he even doing in there? 432 00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:06,680 I don't know. 433 00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:07,920 I think he's got somebusiness with the little guy 434 00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:09,240 from the other table. 435 00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:11,200 It's lucky I'm here, though, to fill in. 436 00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:13,840 Oh, this is so typical of Theo. 437 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:15,080 Oh, completely. 438 00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:16,520 Men. 439 00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:18,360 Expecting me to justwait around while he parks 440 00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:20,760 the chariot or goes to work. 441 00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:22,200 All my friends are married by now, 442 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,920 but no, not me, yet another Lupercalis 443 00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:26,520 where I go home without a ring. 444 00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:27,880 I mean, it's not on, is it? 445 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,480 It's criminal, it's what it is. 446 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:31,160 I mean, a gorgeous girl like you, 447 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:34,040 if he's not serious about you,you should just cut him loose. 448 00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,360 I mean, I always knew itwas going to be rocky for us. 449 00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:38,920 I'm an Ares, Theo's a Capricorn. 450 00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:42,720 I didn't expect him to just takesome small man to the toilets. 451 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:44,480 Wait, sorry, you're an Ares. 452 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,120 I'm a classic Ares, why? 453 00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:47,720 Because I'm an Ares. 454 00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:50,920 Just today I was thinking Inever meet any other Areses. 455 00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:54,760 Wow, finally. 456 00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:55,680 Prune. 457 00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:01,320 I mean, do I actually haveto be here holding this? 458 00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:02,400 You do, yeah. 459 00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:03,880 I like having a target. 460 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,480 Sorry, right, of course. 461 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:07,760 I'll be honest, this isn'treally the kind of Lupercalia 462 00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:08,680 I had in mind. 463 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:09,920 You're telling me. 464 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:11,480 I'm meant to be on a bloody date night. 465 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:14,000 I should have proposed toher years ago, but I didn't. 466 00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:15,880 I wanted to wait until Icould afford an apartment. 467 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:20,080 But oh, Jove, holy Jove, I've buggered it all up. 468 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:22,360 Ah, shut it, will you? 469 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:24,120 You're making my tense. I need to be loose. 470 00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:25,040 I'm sorry. 471 00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:26,680 I'm so sorry. 472 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:30,000 I just don't think I can live without her. 473 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:32,160 We better get this ring outof my guts, then, haven't we? 474 00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:33,840 Yes, please, thank you. 475 00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:36,680 Sorry, you really are being anabsolute star about all this. 476 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:38,440 I am, yeah. 477 00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:40,720 Maybe give me a back a ruband see if it helps along a bit. 478 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:44,480 Yes, of course, sorry. 479 00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:45,560 And pop in another prune. 480 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,360 He's a sweet boy. 481 00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:54,760 Well, he can be. 482 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:56,520 Given all the aggro over the last few years 483 00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:58,720 between me and his dickhead father. 484 00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:01,080 Well, I'd love to meet him one day. 485 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:03,520 Barney, not his dickhead father. 486 00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:05,440 I think you'd get on well,actually, you and Barney. 487 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:06,360 Yeah, yeah. 488 00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:07,360 I'm sure we would. 489 00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:08,600 I love kids. - Oh, yeah? 490 00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:10,160 I guess you were one quite recently. 491 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:16,600 Sorry to be blunt, but do you mind if we 492 00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:17,720 take this into the bedroom? 493 00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:22,040 The-- Yeah, yeah, well, why not? 494 00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:24,040 Sh, Barney's sleeping. 495 00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:26,520 OK. 496 00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:29,280 Hey, look, it's the damp patch. 497 00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:34,200 Ah, yes, of course. 498 00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:35,080 Can you feel it? 499 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:37,800 I, uh-- yes. 500 00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:41,560 Isn't it soft and warm? 501 00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:42,720 Yeah. 502 00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:44,440 It's opened up gaps in the masonry. 503 00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:47,280 You can actually fit a finger inside it. 504 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:49,200 It's just so wet, isn't it? 505 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:50,640 Yes, it's really wet. 506 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:55,360 Barney? 507 00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:56,440 Barney's gone. 508 00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:57,720 Barney, Marcus, come here quick. 509 00:16:57,840 --> 00:16:58,840 Yeah, yeah, just one minute. 510 00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:08,200 This is crazy. 511 00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:09,320 What are we doing? 512 00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:10,960 We're just following our stars. 513 00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:13,760 It's written that me and youmeet and have sex in a cellar. 514 00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:17,040 I can't, not withoutbreaking up with Theo first. 515 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:18,240 I'm too moral. 516 00:17:18,360 --> 00:17:19,400 I really can't cheat on him. 517 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:20,320 Yeah, you can. 518 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:21,960 It's easy. 519 00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:24,800 And you can't dump the guy onLupercalia, that's well harsh. 520 00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:26,280 Yeah, you're right. 521 00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,080 We'll just have to wait until tomorrow. 522 00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:29,640 Uh, no, OK. 523 00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:31,960 You were right before, you should dump him now. 524 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:33,680 Barney! 525 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:34,600 Barney! 526 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:35,920 Barney! 527 00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:38,680 Barnabas! 528 00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:41,840 I mean, why would he just run off like that? 529 00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,640 He's having a tough time at school recently. 530 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:46,240 I can't afford to get him the latest 531 00:17:46,360 --> 00:17:48,160 sandals or the right abacus. 532 00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:49,920 He's being targeted by bullies. 533 00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:53,800 Honestly, the things theysay, just atrocious, really 534 00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:55,560 violent, graphic threats. 535 00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:57,800 Oh, dear, that's-- 536 00:17:57,920 --> 00:17:59,240 I hate that. 537 00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:02,120 If it's true, of course,he might be making it up, 538 00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:03,360 that does happen. 539 00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:04,640 Well, it's made him wet the bed again. 540 00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:06,280 He's not making that up. 541 00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:10,480 I've had more than one damppatch to deal with recently. 542 00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:13,600 Yeah, look about that,the wall, I'll pay for it. 543 00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:15,680 You've clearly got enough on your plate as it is. 544 00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:18,200 Oh, thank you, Marcus. 545 00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:21,840 That is so sweet of you. 546 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:23,280 Roses! 547 00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:24,920 Fancy a rose, do you? 548 00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:27,840 Oh, it's you again, beaky. 549 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:29,640 Do you want another rose? 550 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:33,040 Or is it time you startedwanking and crying? 551 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:35,520 Well, I've no idea what that's about. 552 00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:36,760 Weird woman. 553 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:38,520 Come on, I think I know where he is. 554 00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:44,200 Whoa, whoa, whoa. This is the gents. 555 00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:45,080 You shouldn't be in here. 556 00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:46,440 Oh my Jove, Theo. 557 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:48,120 Babe, wait, sorry, I can explain. 558 00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:49,080 It's too late. 559 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:50,360 It's over. 560 00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:52,040 I've put up with this shit for 12 years. 561 00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:55,600 And then you just abandon me onLupercalia in some skanky bar. 562 00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:57,080 - All right, it's not that bad.- I'm sorry. 563 00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:58,520 I'm so sorry. 564 00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:00,560 To play some sicko sexgame with this tiny diner. 565 00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:01,480 You what? 566 00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:02,640 Sex game? 567 00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:03,840 What kind of sex game would this be? 568 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:04,880 I don't know. 569 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:06,000 I don't want to know. 570 00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:07,680 Babe, no, it's nothing like that. 571 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:10,600 He swallowed a ring I put in thepudding to propose to you with. 572 00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:12,360 We're trying to coax it out. 573 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:14,680 Oh, come on, that's a bit far fetched, innit? 574 00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:15,800 What? 575 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:17,000 You know that's what's happening. 576 00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:18,240 He's desperate. 577 00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:19,560 He'll say anything to string you along. 578 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:21,440 I know, Capricorn scum. 579 00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:22,760 Oh, for Jove's sake. 580 00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:29,960 Pick that one out. 581 00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:30,840 It's in here. 582 00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:32,080 Look, the ring is in here. 583 00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:33,480 What? No. 584 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:34,680 Is it? 585 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:35,880 I think my rings in there and all. 586 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,080 Now will you two please sort this out. 587 00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:38,800 You're clearly perfect for each other. 588 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:40,880 You're all like, this won't do, Theo. 589 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,000 And you're like, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. 590 00:19:43,120 --> 00:19:45,160 Yeah, I suppose we are a bit. 591 00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:51,800 Flora Antonia Modius, notexactly how I planned to do 592 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:54,760 this, but will you marry me? 593 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:58,400 Yes, I will. 594 00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:00,320 I'd give it a rinse first. 595 00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:02,080 Yes, good idea. 596 00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:03,760 Sorry. 597 00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:06,320 Sorry if the evening hasn'trun as expected, Marcus. 598 00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:08,560 No, really, I wasn't quite sure what 599 00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:11,520 to expect, to be honest. 600 00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:13,440 So is this is a friend's house or-- 601 00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:14,760 No, it's his dad's. 602 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,360 He's been avoiding him recently. 603 00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:19,240 We keep arguing about how todeal with Barney's bullies. 604 00:20:19,360 --> 00:20:21,520 Right, well, diplomacyis always the best policy, 605 00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:22,440 I think. 606 00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:24,120 Me too. 607 00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:26,400 Unfortunately, he would preferto beat the shite out of him. 608 00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:27,960 [barking] 609 00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:29,080 CYRUS: Down! 610 00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:30,000 Down boy! 611 00:20:30,120 --> 00:20:30,880 Maybe I should go. 612 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,200 I wondered when you'd show up. 613 00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:36,160 Hello, Cyrus. 614 00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:37,320 Is Barney here? 615 00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:38,520 Might be. 616 00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:39,560 Who's this pecker? 617 00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:41,120 Barney, come here, please. 618 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,000 This your new boyfriend, is it? 619 00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:44,720 Been on a little date together, have you? 620 00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:46,320 It's actually none of your business. 621 00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:48,440 Well, no, really, it's fine. 622 00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:49,360 You can tell him. 623 00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:50,600 Maybe you should tell him. 624 00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:51,960 That's him, dad. 625 00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:53,080 That's the guy that said he'd rip out my tongue 626 00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:54,000 and lick my arse? 627 00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:54,920 What? 628 00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:56,000 What the fuck? 629 00:20:56,120 --> 00:20:57,240 Is that what you said? 630 00:20:57,360 --> 00:20:58,920 No, no, I said he'd lick his own arse 631 00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:00,520 after I shoved his tongue up-- 632 00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:02,920 I wasn't threatening to lick his-- 633 00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:04,440 Thanks for a lovely evening. 634 00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:05,720 Oh, no, you don't. 635 00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:07,720 Ah! 636 00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:09,240 Ah! 637 00:21:09,360 --> 00:21:11,920 All right, so hang on, was it a date or not? 638 00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:12,840 I don't know. 639 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:14,520 I never found out. 640 00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:17,000 Either way, Lupercalia succeededin taking a shit load of cash 641 00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:18,280 off me. 642 00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:19,720 I mean, how was your night then, Grumio. 643 00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:20,920 There were a rocky patch earlier, 644 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:22,680 but I reckon I can win myself round. 645 00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:24,040 Oh, lovely. 646 00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:25,600 At least one of us might get some action tonight. 647 00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:27,360 Hey, I'm not giving up that easy. 648 00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:29,560 Lupercalia ain't over yet. 649 00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:31,360 Ah, here he is. 650 00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:32,480 How was Tabitha, then? 651 00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:33,640 Not quite what I hoped. 652 00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:35,000 See, I told you. 653 00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:36,480 Her picture wasn't accurate, right? 654 00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:39,200 Oh, no, it was, about 40 years ago. 655 00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:40,400 You'll see her in a sec. 656 00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:42,640 She's just struggling with the stairs. 657 00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:44,480 We had a bit of a row, actually. 658 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:45,560 Oh dear, what happened? 659 00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:47,280 It was over that bloody poem. 660 00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:48,480 She found it offensive. 661 00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:49,480 I find that offensive. 662 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:50,800 That poem were quality. 663 00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:52,880 Well, I wouldn't worry about Tabitha. 664 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:54,400 I think her night's looking up. 665 00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:57,000 Hey, Tabitha, how you doing, baby. 666 00:21:57,120 --> 00:21:58,680 Happy Lupercalia. 667 00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:00,000 [MUSIC - OLI JULIAN FEATURING VINCENT NAP, "I CAME, I SAW"] 668 00:22:00,120 --> 00:22:04,440 [SINGING] Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. 669 00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:08,320 Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. 670 00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:09,840 Hear me, darling. 671 00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:12,240 I came, I saw, I conquered. 672 00:22:12,360 --> 00:22:14,640 I came, I saw, I conquered. 673 00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:16,720 I came, I saw, I conquered. 674 00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:18,240 Can I conquer you? 675 00:22:18,360 --> 00:22:19,720 Gotta believe. 676 00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:21,840 I came, I saw, I conquered. 677 00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:24,240 I came, I saw, I conquered. 678 00:22:24,360 --> 00:22:26,320 I came, I saw, I conquered. 679 00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:29,080 Can I conquer you?